good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize