We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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