He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
