Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
