Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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