My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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