Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
