You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
