I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
