Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
