He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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