You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
