I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
