I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
