Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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