What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
