so explain again why im purple
no
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Come on in and take your pants off
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
