dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
