Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
