I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
