i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
