I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
