You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize