Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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