Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
