her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't think brook has ever known best
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is Oprah even human
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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