Im at strip club and am horny
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
