nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize