Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize