I molested 6 butterflies tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
