If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
