the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
