i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize