Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
