Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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