Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
