"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
