We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
