You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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