Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
