one might say we're banned from that church
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
