The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
