Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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