I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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