No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
