Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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