EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
