I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
True college students do jello shots in the library
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