He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
