He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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