Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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