I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
