:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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