i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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