im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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