Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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