I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We need to get me chipped asap
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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