And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
