stop calling my apartment porn island.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
