Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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