whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
