haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
