You can't special order awesome
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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