They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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