Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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