Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
