I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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